“What is emo?” What an odd question to hear these days, eh?

My mom asked me this in response to reading a picture comment on MySpace, which said “I don’t smoke, but I do emo”. While looking up a friend’s page, I had found a link to my old junior high and began paging through some of the former students. It was a weird sense of not-quite-nostalgia because junior high school carried memories of some of the nastiest “kids will be kids” eras of mockery and vindictiveness, yet at the same time some of my best friends came from it. Nevertheless I found my way onto one of the pages, and found that comment.

Well, much as I hear the term used a lot, how many times do we really think about it or acknowledge it? I first heard the musical label of “emo” in my first year of college, and at the time it was “difficult to describe” according to my ex. Bands of widespread nature fit into it, such as the Weakerthans, Thursday, and of course Dashboard Confessional (which, at the time, really WAS only one guy and his acoustic guitar).

Doing a little bit of research (which was a little hampered because my ex was also fond of all derivatives of nerd-rock, so I had my definitions jumbled sometimes), I soon discovered Jets To Brazil, Promise Ring, and of course Rites Of Spring, which came to give me a closer understanding of this strange genre. A friend I had met during the pre-classes testing weekend helped me with finding other bands — here, ironically, was where I could really gain more insight into the wonder of At The Drive-In and Snapcase, both having strong influences to the genre of emocore, which was what it was originally called during the time of Rites Of Spring.

“Emo” as we knew at at the time, therefore, was short for “emocore”, which itself came from “emotional hardcore”. Oxymoronic as the name might seem, it’s hardcore punk/rock that emphasises an intense amount of emotion into the lyrics and/or performance of the members. Members of Rites Of Spring, for example, were known for bringing themselves, or their audiences, to tears of wonder at the overload of emotion that exploded through their shows; Dashboard was an example of the softer side, deciding to throw out acidic vocals and abrasive guitars for a taught, tight voice and oddly honest lyrics. (I could go into Bright Eyes, but Conor Oberst is such an amazing musician that he’s exempt from all this nonsense.)

At some point, emo changed. A new genre of music, which is best described as a bastard inbred child of new-school punk and glam-oozing deathrock (with very little of the appealing characteristics of either), was born in the early 2000’s, and gripped the name “emo” as it came screaming out of the womb. My guess is that the early bands that grabbed it were bad copies of Thursday and Dashboard (such as Anatomy of a Ghost), and once it was seen how marketable it could be, others picked it up.

The MTV bands who used to play “straight-up punk” (an ironic term if I ever heard one coming from MTV) toned down their “aggression” and instead began putting more emotion in their words. Ironically, nu-metal bands had already been doing this, but it was 99.9% constant self-deprecation (something that Trent Reznor already does well enough, but thank you for trying, Linkin Park) rather than post-breakup upset. Eventually, the anger, self-loathing, and dark, semi-gothy styles of nu-metal blended with the simple, poppy, explosive guitars and melodies of MTV punk (along with their vaguely indie looks to seem “new and different”), and since a few of the greater emocore bands had sold out to help father this crowd, the name stuck.

But how often, today, do you hear the term emo as a reference to music? Very seldom. It got tagged to AFI for their new album; to Panic! At The Disco despite the band not having those themes in their lyrics much at all; and to My Chemical Romance for, well, many obvious reasons. However, in recent years, I see “emo” used to apply to, as most things do, a fashion: not quite misanthropic, not too jaded, but looking plenty depressed and having loads to complain about.

Really, I’m curious when people stopped calling them “stupid idiotic whining teenagers born with silver spoons in their mouths with no respect for the values of life” and started calling them “emo kids”. And worse than that, I’m curious as to who is proud to carry this definition, and why. I met a guy at a concert, and in the middle of knocking on all the MTV-whoring emo bands I knew, he acted sheepish and embarrassed, saying how proud he was to be an emo kid. With all the connotations and associations that term now has, why would that make you proud?

Here’s my attempt at redefinition. “Emo” to me will always be “emocore”, and will always be represented by the bands that stood for it. If you want a name to stamp on the garbage that these “new emo bands” churn out, come up with a clever derivative, such as “lameo” or “gay-mo”. Personally, I distinguish with “whiny emo bitch band”, because I can just as easily use said term (minus “band”) to refer to any of the supposedly aggrieved whiners who fill their online blogs with rotten poetry and thinly veiled pleas for attention — and emocore being what it stands for, emo bands are NEVER whiners.

Weird rant to get into, eh? Call it being up too goddamned late, I suppose. It’s also because I’ve been getting a lot more bothered with scenes as of late. Going to Rocky reminded me that the best people in life ascribe to no scenes and admit their equal participation in all of them at once, since they are all in the world we live in. Trying to cut up bands, people, and social groups by the way we dress, talk, conceptualize, and assert musical tastes, is silly and ridiculous, and people who do it at shows or anywhere else bug the living shit out of me. So here’s an attempt to demystify an often-stereotyped scene that actually has a lot of value and potential for nurturing ubiquitous tastes — that is, if its members wish to try and keep their own minds as open as I have mine.

I’m going to go into this now briefly, before I collapse from exhaustion.

Last night, I decided to journey off to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I haven’t done in ages’ time. There were people there I missed, I now work a schedule where I could be there on a regular basis, I have a car that can get me there. Aside from the dinner I ate completely disagreeing with me, I figured it would be a good night.

When I came back to my car, I found all the doors unlocked. My bag, which had my Palm pilot and business cards, was gone. So were most of my jackets, my CD player, my Bluetooth headset… I could go into more detail but let us just say, $300 worth of my stuff.

I think I mentioned my food disagreeing with me? Yeah well, now it’s in full force thanks to this.

What possesses people to do things like this? At what level of low and viciousness do you have to sink to, to motivate you to break into someone’s car and steal things which you PROBABLY WON’T FIND ANY USE FOR TO BEGIN WITH?! I mean, the average thief won’t use a Palm pilot. Maybe a CD player and some of the DVDs, and also, WHY THE HELL DID THEY TAKE MY BAG?! That gets me incensed. That bag was one of the best finds of mine, and it was EMPTY. I NEVER kept anything valuable in it except my Palm, which is probably why it was taken, but the contents (a few programs from the Mute Math show) were emptied onto my seat. That bag was really important to me.

Ugh. I’m ranting and raving now. I knew this was probably a bad idea.

Anyway, there it is. It can’t be changed now. What I can hope is that my insurance company will compensate me for having my car keyed (the windows were not broken but all the locks were open), and that I find someone on eBay with another Palm like mine. If the insurance company reimburses me for the amount I want, which will be a bit more than $300 once I calculate everything out, then I can probably get a new Palm pilot… and that is NEVER leaving my side. (Hell, my bag didn’t normally… I just didn’t want anyone at Rocky to steal it. Should have brought it with me…)

And as mentioned, I am going the hell to sleep now. Any kind words to cheer me up would be appreciated.

Tonight I realized that I am in a place where I am torn. I have the ability and the means to go in one of two main directions.

The first is to continue on the path that I currently am upon. I keep my job, I stay out of school, and I do my best to make end’s meat. I will have the opportunity to go to even more shows, spend more time with my friends, and enjoy life fully — much as I have been doing most of this year and a good deal of last year. The “freedom” I have had has made my life incredibly fulfilling and enjoyable, and nearly completely worked me out of my depression over the last few years; it has also helped me to understand the way the world works before being thrust into it fresh out of nearly two decades at institutions.

The money issue is the only part that is tight. With my current wages and hours, I am limited in what I am able to do. Worse still will be the circumstance of looking for my own place, at which point I would be completely unable to afford anything outside of life’s little necessities. Being stuck in that rut is never fun, and it would give me sufficient cause to get another job — meaning even less free time, which is the whole point of this lifestyle. Sooner or later, it will seem to dead end.

The second direction is to return to school. I am interested in pursuing a degree in either Hotel Management or Sound Technology/Engineering, with possibly a minor in Photography. These paths all focus on the aspects of my life that I have been most prominent in — webdesign is removed from the focus because it has a good potential to go absolutely nowhere, and going to school to study godawful amounts of programming languages has never appealed to me, ever since the first time I almost failed taking a C programming class. I love taking photos (mostly of bands) and I would want to be instrumental in preparing a band’s setup, even if I am not fortunate enough to become a successful musician myself; also, since I’ve gained a lot of experience in the hotel industry since my first position at the Best Western, I think a Hotel Management degree would be one of the wiser, larger steps to take.

The negative aspect of THIS is everything that comes with school — homework, tests, schedules, projects, etc., resulting in even less free time. This year has helped me to realize how much of a flake and procrastinator I am, and in the interests of school this is never good. At a job I am at least entrusted to complete a task while in the confines of my work shift, and am not expected to do work after or between shifts; this would be a change that would take some getting used to, once again.

I suppose that one of the positive points I can focus upon, if I choose the second direction, is that I will gain a lot of support on behalf of my family. Financially I will have greater backing as well. Years down the road, it will offer great potential for a much higher-paid position. The unfortunate aspect about today’s society, however, is that I believe that all the school I could go through will not possibly matter to the most prevalent of positions — the only thing you need is the damned plaque that holds the degree (and the degree inside the plaque, more importantly).

In a job you are expected to give more than your best, to exceed the expectations of your staff, peers, management, and of course your customers. In school, passing with flying colors versus passing and just scraping the degree will make no difference — you still have the degree and therefore the entitlement to a “bright future”. I feel foolish in knowing that by going back to school, I am sentencing myself to four or more years of lost, unavailable time to do the things I want to do, in exchange for, essentially, just a bigger paycheck. The responsibilities with being a hotel manager, or a sound technician, come not from a decade of detailed schooling, but from a solid load of on-the-job training from real business professionals.

I suppose that my 22nd year (or as much of it as I have been able to enjoy thus far) has been full of interesting times, and definitely more enjoyable ones than most, but at this point, maybe it is time to go in a new direction. I really do not know. I’d like to say I’m finally turning forward, becoming more responsible — but knowing what is in store for me by committing to this educational workload? I’m not a big-picture kind of person; I prefer to live in the now, and why shouldn’t we? You will miss so many opportunities with your head buried in your books — I should know, because that is definitely the way I grew up.

Anyway… any thoughts on this are appreciated.

It’s a rare time for me to go to two shows back to back; rarer, in fact, when I have never seen any of the bands in question, and rarer still when, while they are definitely enjoyed by me, they are not necessarily great favorites. In this case, it was because I had heard many wonderful things about them, and wanted to see them live, especially after I had heard a few live recordings from the headliner — Matisyahu.

(Read more…)

Thanks to some recent — and legal, mind you — business ventures via eBay, I’ve acquired a nifty set of gadgets. Despite my great temptation to run out and buy lots of shiny, glowy — but pointless — gizmos, I’ve managed to restrain my niffler-like nature temporarily and purchase items that would also be very useful to me. Thus, here they are:

First off, a device I’ve wanted for a long period of time, a Palm pilot. I chose the Zire 31, for many reasons. It has a backlit, light-up screen (and color, to boot); it has a speaker and headphone jack for playing music; it has an SD card slot which has as of late come in EXTREMELY usefully; and the synching ability has always been a favorite of mine about these devices, as it’s simply the easiest, fastest, and cleanest method of synching data. I say this having also played with devices that had Windows Mobile, and had all sorts of glitchy failures while trying to sync their data (gotta love Microsoft, right?) Most of all, the Zire was cheap and easy to find on eBay for a low price; I got mine for $40 from a professional repair center who said the owner had dropped it off and never come back for it after it got fixed.

So far, mine has had absolutely no problems; it works well and I’ve been able to stuff it full of data and additional software. While there is probably a myriad of dodgy software available all over the ‘net for it, I managed to acquire DocumentsToGo, the main Palm Office software, so now I can edit my Excel & Word files wherever I go (it updates the remote files with each sync). My only complaint was that the device did not come with the main disc (which contains a lot of software not found anywhere else) but that is currently on the way from my original seller, so soon I will be able to use the Palm to the full extent.

Following my purchase of a Palm pilot, I discovered how extremely difficult it was to pull the stylus out quickly, so I set out in search of a stylus, and soon after, a stylus/pen hybrid. Stemming from my desire to purchase a stylus/pen/light/laser hybrid, I soon myself acquiring the Inka Pen and the Swisstech Multi-Tool, and I had one main reason for these two as opposed to their quadra-useful counterpart: they could be attached to my keychain and be readily accessible at all times.

The Inka is very stylish and shiny, and only has a few marks on the outer case now (which is saying something thanks to the huge clutterance of items on my keychain), and writes very well, though I can’t say that I like the difficulty in getting to the stylus. The Swisstech tool is a new acquisition, so I’ll have to play with it a bit more before giving a proper review, but the light is bright (can be set to be always on, or on at the time the button is pressed, which I find very nice despite the button being hard to press!) and the tools feel very strong and sturdy in the hand. The main convenience is their universal carrying ability, which I am sure I will utilize more and more.

Next up is the Griffin PowerMate, which to be honest was more of an impulse buy than anything; however, I have been finding it to be extremely useful! It looks like a shiny aluminum knob pulled right off an expensive stereo, and to add to its magpie appeal, it has a glowing blue LED base. I didn’t think this would be too fascinating until I turned the “pulse” on — this causes the blue glow to, well, pulse, at a customizable rhythm which is eerily exciting. More important than its visual austerity, however, is the fact that the PowerMate is a knob that can be programmed to do anything, whether it be volume control, scrolling, resizing, etc. — and can be set independently for each application. Universally, I like that it can instantly mute the volume of the computer by just pressing it (it can also be “clicked”, like a mouse), and that it can also function as a volume knob even when the computer is locked — I’ve never found a keyboard that can bypass this setting. Per application, I have found it’s very easy to set up (software is a little glitchy, but I’ve been reading that it is more Mac-based to begin with, anyway), and I now have most of my main applications customized just the way I need them to be.

My final acquisition was a bit of an accident — the BrightFeet Slippers, which I found in a thrift store for $3, and purchased without noticing the little LEDs poking in the toes. Upon walking around my darkened room, however, I discovered their true greatness, and I must say I am VERY pleased and impressed with them. Being a gadget lover, how could I not? But also, they prove to be very useful — I was able to walk all over my house without turning on a light once, which I feel is a great accomplishment on behalf of my footwear. I don’t think I could pay the $30 asking price for them, so I do indeed feel that I got quite a bargain.

And I’ve also compiled my shiniest gadgets into the video below. Enjoy!